Mid-life crisis could not have possibly arrived any quicker but yet again, calling it a ‘crisis’ may seem a little too dramatic and extremely exaggerated. Despite that, a lack of colour and an unparalleled numbness in the way I might be living my life is a reasonable explanation for wanting to spice things up a little. I’ve been doing somewhere in between “nothing” and “not very much” over the last month or two, and frankly speaking, I thought I’d feel embarrassed about it. Unfortunately, I don’t. And that’s because nothing out there in the world(within my reach of course) is of any interest to me. A couple of months ago, I could have sworn that I would be spending my June in another continent. But damn, shit happens.
Okay, truthfully speaking, there are indeed many things that are interesting out there. I just don’t know where to start. Initially, I thought I’d spend my time reading. Reading about everything and anything that I want to. Not to increase my knowledge on anything that might be related to my course of study so as to enable myself to have a slight advantage on the often empty and rusty minds of those who have recently served the nation(i.e myself). Instead, I’ve optimistically tried to learn about all the small things that matter, in my opinion. You know books that make you feel warm and fuzzy inside not because of the emotions contained in it. But just the fact that you know you’ve learned something new. For instance, I’ve read about The Fall of Constantinople and I’m actually finishing the book on Arab-Israeli War, which might educate and enlighten me about the reason why our world is, pardon my language, Fucked Up. I’m convinced, there is no silver lining. There is no sunshine after the rain(of missiles). There is no ‘the night is darkest just before the dawn’. Harvey, you’re wrong. However, let’s not indulge in the negativity and may God protect the righteous and innocent.
Back to my mid-life crisis that is highly debatable, I find it extremely worrying that I’ve yet to have the slightest clue as to where my life is heading. Fail to plan, and you plan to fail, no?There are many things I want to be. Writer, historian, archaeologist, firefighter, soldier, lecturer, athlete, journalist, chef and the list goes on. 2000 years ago, I’d probably be a shepherd, which is not entirely a bad career choice in my opinion. Live among the mountains and trees, away from this madness we call life. I wouldn’t hesitate to choose a majestic stallion over a million dollar machine with a stamp of a stallion on its hood. Unless the government decides to enforce COE on a freaking horse.
Not all of us grow up to be the person we want to be. Let’s be honest, not all of us are like Mehmet Fatih. Growing up wanting to be one of the greatest general and eventually went on to conquer Constantinople. I just pray that wherever this path leads me, I’ll never be far from love and faith.
I know, this has been incredibly long-winded and might have been annoying but hey, welcome to my chaotic mind. And congratulations for this is my 1000th post. May all of us live free, and die well.
(Source: , via fitness-ftw)
(Source: , via fat-2-fitt)